Ask the Mediums

LoveYou have a question,
so… ask?

This is a conversation based Q&A for you to interact with us to learn a little more about what we offer, and how we work. You can ask us about spirituality, mediumship, psychic phenomenon, grief, or anything you may be curious about or desire some perspective about.

This is an open forum, however,  is not intended to be a substitute for mediumship or psychic readings. So please don’t ask us specific questions concerning your personal life, or the afterlife of a specific loved one. Let’s try to keep it general.

Feel free to post questions in the comment form at the bottom of this page and we will get back with you promptly!

30 thoughts on “Ask the Mediums

  1. I lost my mom and a close friend all in the last 6 months and both from cancer. I am having a hard time understanding what happens to us when we die, and why it seems like really good people get horrible diseases. Sometimes it seems like my mom is here near me, I even have dreams about them both. Can you tell me what to look for regarding knowing if in fact my loved ones are actually able to be near me, and if so, what I can do to make it all clearer?
    Thank you,

    1. Dear Kim~

      I appreciate your question and can only answer from what my experience has been and from insight I have received from spirit. I understand how difficult it is to not have loved ones around us here in the physical as we are used to. I too experienced my dad and a dear friend leaving from cancer within just a few weeks of each other. It can certainly be difficult to understand and leave us longing for their physical presence. I do not have an “answer to the “why’s” of disease, Just that from what I have learned, we all choose our main life experiences and lessons prior to the re-birth back here to this incarnate, and it is only our “physical mind” that needs to judge one situation over another, as in one experience is worse or better than another. All seem to be equally valid for those involved and are needed for growth and progression.

      When loved ones leave their physical body and move back to the non-physical energy being they are very much still able to be near us again. For some it may take be a longer “adjustment” period, others seem to re-join us right away! Yes, your loved ones in spirit can and do absolutely check back in with family and friends as they do miss us too and like to try to stay connected for the benefit of both. Just because someone is “dead” does not mean they are suddenly a new or different person! AU Contraire … they continue on exactly as they left, without the confines of the body, with new lessons and explorations, and from what I have been told, all attend their memorial services!

      Dreams are often an easy avenue for those in the non-physical to use to touch in with loved ones. The mind is not so resistant when in the subconscious realm, and we do rendezvous with our loved ones as we “sleep” often even traveling to them. The very nicest way to connect with loved ones is to think of them fondly, as when you do they will know. Talk about them as you did when they were here, keep photos out and look at them often, talk directly to them and then attune yourself to the subtle nuances that WILL happen!

      I hope this is somehow beneficial to you Kim, and thank you for asking!

      Truly~ Lori

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  3. Dear Lori,
    I am a property manager at an apartment community and recently one of my residents brought me in 4 photos of a female ghost I believe native american indian girl in various photos and in different locations of her apartment I will be more than happy to forward them to you later. I believe she may be connected to the resident or her baby. She believes she is connected to the apartment. I have never encountered anything like this so any help or information would be greatly appreciated. She is very frightened and will not go back to her apartment.

    1. Dear Patti,
      We would love to take a look at the photos prior to answering this good question as it will provide a clearer insight to the possibilities of what is happening here. Please send them to and we will continue this promptly.

      Thanks so much for asking!
      Lori & Mark

    2. Patti,
      We have not yet received the photos from you but as I read your email again I do sense and “urgency” in the dilemma to your resident. I am going to put this out there as it was received – unfiltered.

      I am seeing this love for a child, and children, a nurturing woman. But theres a great loss, of a child. I don’t know if this is a child that was born or miscarried, never made it out of the womb.. The child is trying to get attention, still feels like it is a part of her. Mother feels this way too. It is like there is this energy that is holding the child in womb, supporting the child. an in opposite of that there is an energy that is holding the child back. and as I look closer I see that this child did not make it into this physical incarnation.

      I sense emotional stress and distress from the mother. And there is a lot of turmoil with the loss of this child. This being-child she did not get to physically know. there is a pulse and a love that is strong. That child spirit comes forth from this mother joyously and strong as mother stands fully aware of this child’s presence and is wanting to come throu. But she is hesitant to acknowledge from the circumstance. Part of her wants to avoid it completely but still struggles with it. The heart is still full and flowing with the love, the connection is still there. even though she struggles with it. As coming to closure the child and the mothers energy is connecting very strongly. The connection is there and available. There is closure in the acknowledgement. When it comes full circle I see joy closure and certainly a never ending bonding. Growth can happen.

      A lot of physical movement around both the child and the woman. Native American presence seems to be coming through, shamanistic with an old European feel. A lot of mental activity going on about the situation, almost blurry- hard time focusing. Seems to be a projection of self.. my impression seems to be that it is coming from the woman and child… NOT attached to the apartment. Seeing a “mother” influence– or motherly influence outside the two.. or spirit. There is no ill intent, but being perceived as darkness. There is a challenge to accept it as real as opposed to contrived. Being given as a gift of proof. My impression is that the “spirit” is family trying to get their attention. Spirit people like to get our attention for various reasons, but ill intent generally only would be possible if one generally believed it so and allowed it.. we do create our realities.

  4. I received some very good and thought provoking questions via our email last night. I will share the email and my responses here as they may be beneficial to others.

    Dear Ms.Marshall,
    I will be very grateful if you could let me know as to the following:-

    How long after crossing over of a loved one do we need to wait to communicate?

    Is there any chance of the one we are trying to contact is busy and so can’t come through?

    In such a scenario,could we get at least information about such a soul’s well-being at least from some other spirit?

    Do you ever come to India?Thanks,

    1. Greetings VP,

      Thank you for your very good questions. I will be happy to answer you from what I personally know.

      In my experience communication from a loved one can occur almost instantly or may never occur. What determines this is the level of understanding and beliefs that the individual has at the time of transition. If your loved one has the belief that communication is possible and normal, they can come through very quickly. However, if they made their transition with the understanding that spirit communication is impossible, or that there is nothing after we “die” then it may take awhile or may never happen. As we leave the physical body and rebirth back into energetic formlessness, we are still very much the same person we were at the time of transition, and will continue on growing and learning.

      Also know that if one is still in extreme grief and bereavement, it may be advisable to wait until you are more receptive to information from your spirit loved one. Extreme emotions can make it more difficult for your loved one in spirit to work with, as they may be affected by this too.

      There is never a guarantee that a particular desired loved one will come through in a sitting. If a Medium is guaranteeing that they will, it is a red flag as to the authenticity of said Medium. Are loved ones in spirit will come through when they are ready and able and IF they have the desire to do so. One must remember that “time” is an earth element/invention. There is no “time” in the spiritual realm.

      During a reading with a Medium, any number of loved ones can come in and certainly let you know how another is doing, and even what they are currently doing. This is why it is important when going to a Medium, that you go with an open mind and heart having put the intention out to the universe of whom you desire to come through.

      Thanks so much for your questions!



  5. Hello.
    A best friend of mine, took his life 1 1/2 years ago. We were best friends as teens and even into adulthood. The feelings I had for him were never mutual so I became content w/ just friendship as apposed to nothing at all. I became obsessed w/ his passing. It almost haunted me, all I could think about. Why he didnt reach out to me as I would have dropped anything to help him. I spoke to him 12 days before he passed. I was back home for our highschool reunion and he wasnt there. I dream about him all the time. I realized that in order for me to allow someone new to move in “spiritually speaking” i had to clean out what he left behind. I had a meditation session, and i told him i needed to let him go. I would always love and care and think of him but I could not carry on obsessing over his passing. I felt better for a while, but now the dreams are back. In the dreams I may not always recognize him at first. The last one I had I was wiping someones face that I saved from drowning, and when they looked up at me, it was him. There was a sadness, a deep sadness in his eyes. This is not the first dream that ive had where there is a obvious sadness. So my question is (sorry about the lengthy email) Do people who have passed on contact us via dreams if their passing was self inflicted?

    1. Dear Kristy,
      What an important question! Let me start by answering your question to the best of my ability. Yes, when people leave their physical bodies after the transition we call death, they often return to friends and loved ones during our dream state. It is my understanding that this is not only a common method of communication but can also be perceived as “easier” for some spirit people and certainly the recipient, as we are less rigid and left-brain while in our sleeping state. Many also believe that we are actually having another, life journey where we actually rendezvous and learn with spirit loved ones in our “dreams”. The method of death would be irrelevant to whether the loved one was able to communicate or not.

      Your good friend may very well at times still feel a sadness and a longing for his “old self” as he will have to learn many things and continue to grow in spirit. Just because we leave our bodies does not mean we become smarter, better, or different right away. On the contrary. When we rebirth from the physical back to the spiritual world we take with us our beliefs, personalities, etc., until we grow there. As you sit quietly and call your friend near, do continue to send him thoughts of love and healing for his progression and well-being. Do this when you meet up in your dreams too. Also let him know that he is only welcome when you say he is, period.

      May I say that it feels like you are holding pretty tightly to this person, largely through guilt, longing, and your nurturing nature. Suicides can be difficult as they are usually abrupt, and leave those left with many unanswered questions. Guilt of not being able to prevent the death is common. You indicated that you are ready to move on and into another stage or level of grief, and desire him not to be in your thoughts day and night. Please allow yourself to do this, remember great times, and know that his suicide was his choice, something he felt he had to do for himself. Try to free yourself from this guilt and your visits with him should be less frequent and perhaps at some point your relationship with him will change to a happier one.

      In love & light,

      1. And remember, even a suicide is part of the life plan. They happen in order to assist those around the person in their spiritual progression. So part of the reason for his “untimely” or “unexpected” rebirthing is so that you can have the experience of the loss so your spiritual progression may unfold.

        ~ M

  6. Dear Lori,
    I lost my 24 year old daughter almost 8 years ago, and I often wonder what she is doing on the other side.


    1. Dear Theresa,

      I believe your lovely daughter is most likely still doing the things she loved to do most while still here on earth. Her personality, passions and true Self do not change when she leaves the physical body. In the spirit world we are able to continue to experience lessons and expand our consciousness. We will meet up with those familiar to us when we were here on our physical journey, as well as encounter new friends and people to assist in our development. This will all happen largely dependent on what here beliefs were at the time that she made her transition back to the non-physical. Her core beliefs will initially determine her rate of progression.

      She will remain true to her Spirit… gardening, animals, reading, teaching, etc. Do know that when you send your love to her and reach out to her with your thoughts, she does receive them!!

      In love & light~

  7. Dear Lori and Mark – thank you for posting your very important answers to questions of those who are open enough to wonder and relay them. I received a very real and important visit from my father 2 nights ago. I don’t know if this has anything to do with anything – but recently I was taking some prescribed medicine and did not realize until I was off of it – that I was not remembering my dreams. I had not had a visit like this in years from him. One that seems so physically real! In the dream he opened his arms and hugged me tight. There were no words in the dream that i could remember. But, I wanted to thank you that since I have been reading your website – it seems I had opened myself up for whatever was meant to be -and I am grateful. I thought that maybe someone, may be on some meds like i was, are preventing a possible message from coming thru – what do you think? Thank you for what you do in helping people to open their minds to the possibilities!

    1. Dear Jill,

      Thank you for your lovely words and taking time to read our posts and visit our website, we do appreciate you!

      So happy to her about the wonderful and important hug from your dad! Your father is obviously at the point in his progression that he was able to extend himself to you again in a really special way and you are ready to receive and acknowledge. That is a beautiful thing, as you know! I do believe that when we open ourselves up to possibilities and expand our consciousness it is easier for for our loved ones to make connections with us, and easier for us to realize just how beneficial this new and ongoing relationship can be. Awareness is a really good thing! In most cases our loved ones who have went home to the spirit world do indeed want to connect with us and it would be frustrating to not quite get through. Good for you for being open and allowing!

      As for the meds blocking the remembrance of dreams that seems logical. When the brain is in an altered state from medication/chemicals it stands to reason that the dream state may be altered. Mark does not remember his dreams when he is taking medication. Sometimes he can if he puts that intention out there before falling asleep, but it is not often or easy.

      Enjoy your father and keep that awareness and heart open to all the good possibilities that are to come!

      Lori & Mark

  8. This is a question we received on or account and I wanted to share it here.

    youtaughtme asks-

    “hi there, my boyfriend passed away about a year ago and I was curious if there is a way to contact him on my own and be able to hear him? I notice that I can almost sense his presence mostly in the night before bed.”

    1. Hello,
      Yes you can connect to your loved ones who have made their transition. Most believe that we all continue to have the ability to reach out to those we love in the non-physical by thought and through the love we hold in our hearts for them. As energy is energy, it is logical that this would be correct.

      You say that you “almost sense his presence mostly in the night before bed,” which is the perfect time to move into that sensation and awareness. Relax, close your eyes and breathe naturally. Smile, bring love and happiness into your being and pour that love outwards to your beloved. Ask him to be close and talk to him in your mind. Allow whatever thoughts and sensations you experience to happen and believe that this is genuine.

      Learn to train your mind to allow this interaction to happen. Before you fall asleep, ask him to join you in your dream state, where the limitations and barriers of the logical mind/brain are at rest. This is an easy way for loved ones to rendezvous with us. Tell yourself that you will remember your dreams upon waking.

      Enjoy these interactions and know that they will grow and strengthen the more you connect and practice. Connection to our loved ones happens through the heart with love, whether they are in spirit or here on the earth plane.

      Love and happiness to you,

  9. This was a question posted on our Mediumship Monday on Facebook –

    “As you know me, some here may not. I have been a natural since I was very little but sometimes that is really rough because we don’t really learn how to do the things that some mediums do that study it through out their life. For me, one of my major problems is meditating and I pick up others energy without evening meaning to. Yes I do try to protect myself when I go into public but a lot of times it doesn’t seem to work. I will feel a ton of different emotions when I am in, let’s say Walmart. To the point of feeling light headed, nausea and just feel plain weird. I have to talk to myself saying there is nothing wrong with me that it’s just energy that I am picking up on and it’s not me. So my question here is what more can I do to protect myself? I feel I pick it up even after I try to protect myself because I am an emotional person to begin with. Also what is a quick and simple technique to go into a deep meditation? I am a Virgo as you know and my mind runs a million miles a minute all the time lol.” SN
    December at 12:05

    1. Thanks for the great questions Shelby! Yes, you are certainly hype-psychic and I know this has been an ongoing issue for you for most of your life. First I would like to say that you do absolutely have the power to manage your psychic experiences and learn to turn them way down or off as you deem needed. You need to believe this.

      Symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, and anxiety could be what you are “picking up” on a psychic level from other people – learn to recognize when this happens and learn how to break off these types of “connections” with others when needed.

      We all have psychic abilities, some way more than others. It’s completely natural, but we don’t have to be tuned in all the time. It’s one thing to be connected to your higher self and get intuitive hits, but it’s a completely different thing to pick up on the thoughts, emotions, and loved ones of other people 24/7!

      You really have to want to disconnect from your psychic awareness and shut it down for this to happen, and for your own health and benefits of your abilities; it will serve you well to take charge here.
      1. Set your intention each morning and evening. Put the intention of what you want, “I am not accepting energy influences at this time” out there before your feet hit the floor. Do the same before sleeping “I am not accepting energy influences during my dreams tonight.”
      2. Work with your guides, teachers and self daily and set up firm and healthy boundaries while realizing you are in charge.
      3. Declare to yourself that your sychic senses are now shut down. I am not wearing my psychic hat now, period!
      4. Do a physical downward motion with your hand from the heart chakra down and out towards your root chakra and say to yourself “no more” I have now closed myself from excessive psychic energy, and know that it is so. Try it, you will be amazed!

      From Mark – As a Virgo, I understand totally. I too had a difficult time slowing my monkey thoughts down so I could meditate and become still. Breath- work & re-focusing on breath and focusing on the feeling of one point – the spot between the nostrils is great as you can feel the air move across it, focusing on that sensation becomes the spot of focus removing much of the outside chatter. Sit still, breath fully and naturally and invite yourself to sit quietly in a column of light. A sacred and peaceful place for self, if only for a moment!

      Hope this helps some!

  10. A question from Mediumship Mondays on Facebook –

    “Good Evening, I am a friend of SN.. she recommended you to assist.. I had a friend read cards for someone at my house and I believe the evil father/baby’s dad came thru.. ever since then a black heaviness on me is felt and everything is going wrong/bad.”

    1. Hi JC-R! I can feel that you are certainly distressed. In my understanding and from what I have learned from those in spirit, people who have passed on do not have any authority over anyone or anything living. They do not attain some ability to be disturbing to people any more than they would have when they were alive. There is something to one allowing that sort of thing though. Meaning that people do not change all of the sudden just because they are dead! They are still very much the same and will have to continue to evolve and grow. So if you have a spirit person that was NOT a nice person while living, he will not become nice right away now. However, you do not have to allow any nonsense whatsoever and all you honestly need do is tell them directly to stop it and that they are not allowed to be in your presence. You always have authority over your person, home and space. Do not allow any darkness or blackness to bother you. It really is that simple… believe it. You are after all still in spirit and physical form, thus you are more powerful and always in control! Take a breath, shrug it off and smile about all that is good in your life.

  11. Hello, my question is regarding being a professional psychic or medium. If we all have natural abilities, is it possible for someone who has not had any such experiences at all to say one day ” I want to be a professional psychic in order to help people and earn a living.”. Can this person learn by taking courses and/or training to open up their abilities? Is it realistically feasible to consider? I would truly appreciate your opinion. Thank you

    1. Thank you for your question Amy! I do believe that we all have the innate ability to connect to our own loved ones on the spirit side of life. As we are all energy and spirit NOW as much as we have ever been or will be, we absolutely are connected and are never cut off from our loved ones! I am speaking about a personal relationship with our loved ones.

      Can one study, take classes, courses and such to become a professional medium with the purpose of working with others as a living… that is quite a different area! Let me start by saying yes… and no. You ask if it is “possible for someone who has not had any such experiences at all to say one day ” become a professional psychic in order to help people and earn a living? I would first wonder why if you have had no experiences you would feel it is something you want to do? Where is the underlying motivation? Becoming a professional Medium is most usually a “calling” and always a commitment. It honestly becomes ones lifestyle.

      One can certainly train to develop their mediumsistic abilities as with any other skill, for personal or professional aptitudes. It is important to learn to control the mind and become the best instrument for spirit that one can become. I personally feel there are way to many people that decide to do this “for a living” and are totally untrained and irresponsible. So you will have to ask yourself WHY you want to be working in this realm? There are many awesome ways to be beneficial to people.

      Please know that being a psychic and being a medium are two different things!! Mediums talk to those in spirit and bring through evidence of the continuity of life and messages of higher wisdom. Psychics work with the energy of the living and bring through guidance from living energy – no spirit people involved at all!

      If yo want to be a professional psychic — yes, study hard and always be ethical… If you want to be a professional Medium make sure you are doing so for the right reasons and understand that it is a long and diligent road.


      1. Thanks for your reply. I guess it was a little vague after reading it back but I was trying not to put personal details in since that is what it stated. I am just trying to figure out my next steps and there is more involved personally. I was looking for an objective opinion since I’ve seen from reading bios that so many have enhanced or brought forth latent abilities through training classes. I found shamanism in my search for healing and have successfully completed a shamanic practitioner course over the past year. I journey and have spirit guides that work with me. I have been told I have these other abilities but am not sure myself. It is all still so new if you will that I’m not sure how it all works. I am trying to determine if this is what I should be doing at this time. As far as “calling” I am extremely passionate about this and I am in my mid forties and have done other things throughout my career. Anyway, again trying not to put a lot of details in this space. Is this something that you are able to advise people on?

  12. I have a friend that’s a medium, she can also see auras and energies. she tells me that i have some sort of forcefeild around me, i am not sensitive, nor a medium, or have any in my family that i know of. Nor have i lost anyone who was close to me. I have a blue aura as well,if that has anything to do with it. I just genuinely would like to know what thos forcefeild is.

    1. I do not know what your friend is referring to with the language “forcefield” as terminology is so subjective. Perhaps you should ask her specifically. I can tell you though that as we are all energy beings we all have layers of energy surrounding us extending out far and wide! I also believe we are all capable of being as sensitive to others energy, including those who have “died” as we train and allow ourselves to have. Since your interest in metaphysical things has been peaked you may enjoy some study in chakras, meditation and whatever else feels right to you! 🙂 Enjoy!

  13. Hi im patty, I want to know why I cant sleep, why am I so afraid of the dark. When ever I try to sleep with light off I see like black spots or kinda shadows. I feel just like runing away from my home sometimes I feel like I prefer to be dead….to be honest I don’t know what to do?
    Please Help!

    1. Hi Patty,
      I am not really understanding what you are asking me. “Why am I afraid of the dark” and “I prefer to be dead” are miles apart in concerns. If you are afraid of the dark simply sleep with low lights on in your room and perhaps the hallway or adjoining room… there, that’s simple and easy. If it is the “black spots and shadows you fear, try to recognize what/who they may be and go ahead and ask them to stop. Shadows and spots can not harm you and must act in accordance with your commands. These things may be an underlying fear of something much deeper.

      As for your feeling like running away and dying… that is anther matter and magnitude. Your home should feel like your haven of safety and comfort, your place to be YOU. If it doesn’t you need to examine what in your home or life is creating feelings of distress? Think deeply about what does and does not bring you joy in any moment and align yourself with these things/thoughts/people. If you are in deep despair, depressed or feeling like harming yourself please seek out crisis care immediately.

  14. My mother passed away in February and I miss her greatly. I just want to make sure she is still with me we just moved .

    1. Dear Jenna,
      I understand your missing your mother. It is difficult to not have our loved ones here in the physical. I still miss my dad being here even after nearly 4 years…. and we do talk quite often as we enjoy each other, yet not having him here can be a challenge. Grief is hard. Our loved ones leaving us physically is hard.

      On the spiritual side of life there is no time or no earthly limitations so your mother has no issues with your physical locality. She will know where you are always. I encourage you to keep her photos and a few of her belongings out where you can see them often… I know you are not tucking her away and she appreciates that. Talk to her as if she is on the other end of the phone or in the next room. She will respond in the best way she can at this time of her new journey.

      Be well…

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