Today is my earthday birthday! I have been alive in this physical body since 1959, woo~hoo 54 interesting years! I have been here for 19710 days. Funny thing is, as a young person I thought anyone over 30 was old and I was just certain I would never be one of “them.” I remember being 6 or 7 and sitting in our family room listening to my Beatles records over and over dreaming wildly of someday being the wife of Paul McCarthy or at the very least Ringo Star. Running around with the neighborhood kids, bicycling, chasing fireflies and playfully dreaming with my huge imagination made life stress free and fun! I loved being an imaginative kid that loved animals, toys, family, people and the inclination to be a leader.
I liked family, storybooks, drawing, TV, creative play, animals and friends.
The teen years. Oh yes, those terrifically terrifying tragic and triumphant teens. I stretched myself as much as I could grasping at as many experiences as I could find or create. Testing myself and others and living in what I have come to consider my drama days! Of course at the time I thought every trial, error and outcome was the most important thing in the world. After all, I was the most important thing in the world! The teen years are perfect for bumps & bruises so we can begin to come into our own skin. I am actually glad for all the experimentation and experiences.. not sure how my parents survived me though!
I liked rock music, boys, parties, friends, animals, clothes, drama and family. Became a vegetarian for life.
So very much can happen in ten years with each segment seemingly a time to experience new things. For myself the 20’s were extreme, rock stars and places, having my first child, starting a first marriage, big girl grown-up stuff, which I must say I was not very good at. Young, raw and restless sums it up. From party girl to Playboy Bunny, mother to working woman, I was highly energized and rarely satisfied. I enjoyed that timeframe with gusto, still seeking and searching for my identity!
I liked boys, rock music, clothing, parties, family, attention, and boys.
Other than the birth of my amazing son, the 30’s would be my least favorite age. For some reason unknown to me then but known to me now, I felt I had to BE certain things for people and conform to ideas and opinions of others. I felt that I was SUPPOSED to be what others thought I should be. For the first time in my life, I actually cared what others thought. That was a good learning mistake. This was a time period of stupidity, bad choices, less than beneficial decisions and going through the motions, not at all like ME I might add. I had some grandiose ideas that I could change and control situations and people to create scenarios that would look and feel perfect or at least less painful. I can honestly say that this segment proved to be my least favorite overall and probably my greatest learning experiences, though I did not know that at the time. Still young and ME focused while trying to be everything for everyone without the real life tools to make it work. I was aware though that as my numbers in age changed and grew older, my inner person still felt similar to the child. When was this “grown-up” thing going to happen?
I STILL liked rock music, parties, attention and boys, as well as my home, my family and my beloved pets. Tried Cosmetology & Realtor for work stuff.
You know how some of us are “late bloomers” and seem to take a really L-O-N-G time to get it? Much of the early 40’s was less than fabulous, as I found myself still desperately searching for things and people to “fill me up” and create some sort of satisfaction in my life. My beloved 3rd child was the best thing about this time frame. Gloriously foolish, and rather punitive, this chunk of time proved to have many losses and gains, with a balance beginning to formulate at the end. Happily and finally ending a second “marriage” moving to yet another new place, and walking into a Spiritualist Camp moved me into an entirely new direction. My world thus far had been primarily focused on the physicality of things, with heavy doses of dramatic emotion, twisted through brain stuff… thinking too much, cycling to many thoughts and not yet being focused enough to grasp a larger understanding of what the “life” thing is about. Perhaps I was coming into my own. After all, I was still alive and though I would not have believed it, the age of 50 was not really old as dirt as I had thought as a child!
I liked family, my beloved pets, boys choirs, 20’s – 40’smusic, books, photography, writing. Tried on web designer and cam girl for work stuff.
Loving this time period thus far. It is if I somehow woke up, like some sort of re-birth into my newly created reality and exploding with ideas, thoughts, love and zeal! Welcoming the wonderful and often intense experiences now with a new understanding. My beloved fathers return to spirit, the in-depth development of my mediumship, a more expansive and open heart and the acquiring of the importance of stillness, yes, this age is all about authenticity and realness. Reaching out to new thoughts, people, cultures, European travel, astral travel, and seeing my space as an observing participant. Fear is leaving as I regained my attitude of young childhood not caring what anyone thinks of me and once again living in my NOW! Interesting how something’s need to be revisited to be renewed.
I love family, my beloved pets, friends, meditation, mediumship, teaching, writing, books, photography, boys’ choirs, 20’s – 40’s music, and every single moment I get to experience more… and-and-and…
So from where I sit now what I have learned thus far is that-
I will forever be evolving.
Parents, siblings, children, and friends are a privilege, as is life, savour and adore it all.
Forgive all, including yourself.
Never leave anyone with a sore heart.
It is better to be kind and inspiring than to be correct.
My physical self is a vehicle and tool, my energetic self is who I am.
Perfection is not only unobtainable but undesired.
Good and bad as well as wrong or right are simply judgments.
Being healthy is a state of mind. It’s ok not to be thin, smooth, blonde and media standard.
Physical beauty is absolutely in the eye of the beholder – yourself.
Authenticity is everything.
The moment you are in is all there ever really is.
An open heart will take you everywhere.
I am grateful for each & every experience.
We place ourselves in line with all we connect with for particular reasons and all of them are valid – family, children, friends, foes…
Reality is created and all perception.
Live and love hugely and without limitation or expectation of outcome.
Love and connection to self and all living things is what matters.
There is no death.
This post is meant to be inspiring and thought provoking. Perhaps you may find a little of your own life experience here. 😛